A TRADITIONAL PAKISTANI WEDDING

Mayun

“Approximately eight to fifteen days before the wedding, the bride enters a state of Mayun, which indicates that she is in a state of seclusion. She is free of all the chores and errands around the house. After the Mayun, the bride and groom are not supposed to see each other, and the bride is not allowed to leave her house. At this time, the beautification rituals begin.”

Ok…so having said that…let me add the misery of being in Canada!

My Mayun is not 8 to 15 days before the wedding; it is just 3 days before!!
Free of all the chores??!!! Is that even an option?! Yeah right!! All the last minute things begin around that time!
“Bride and groom are not supposed to see each other”! OK…now that we have made possible OR will make sure is!
Ha Ha Ha @ “the bride is not allowed to leave her house” I am working until a day before my wedding!!!!
“The beautification rituals begin” I seriously WISH! Cuz for me it’s more like the ‘Looking Tired and Dead rituals begin!!’


Mehendi

The Mehndi -- or henna -- ceremony takes place a day before the wedding. This consists of a blessing ceremony, the application of henna (generally for the women only,) singing, dancing and dinner. This evening is dedicated to applying the Mehndi to the bride's hands and feet.
The groom's relatives and friends bring the Mehndi to the bride's Mehndi venue in a procession, usually accompanied by music. All the groom's female relatives and friends walk into the party carrying a tray of Mehndi or a basket of sweets that they will present to the bride and her family. The bride's family will receive and welcome the groom's family with flower garlands, rose petals, and/or sweets. The groom is led into the Mehndi hall surrounded by his family and friends, who hold a colourful scarf over his head. He is seated and traditional rituals are performed to bless, feed, and beautify him.
Traditionally, the bride is not allowed to take part in the celebrations. She is brought out for a short period of time. Her close friends and relatives escort her into the room with her face hidden. In the days leading up to the wedding, the bride is not supposed to wear make-up or jewellery, and is required to hide from people. Seven happily married women feed her sweets, so that she will always have a sweet married life, put a little bit of Mehndi on her hand, and perform the Sadka. In the Sadka, a person circles the bride’s head three times, holding assorted amounts of money, to give her blessings for a happy life and ward off evil. The money is then donated to the poor and needy.
It is often at this time that the couple's families offer a trousseau for the bride and groom. The trousseau consists of a variety of items including jewellery and clothes to be worn on the wedding day.


NIKAAH
Once everyone is seated, the Nikkah, or wedding ceremony, takes place. A purely Islamic event, the Nikkah is held at the bride’s home, and is attended by close family members. The ceremony can also take place at an alternate venue, if more convenient. In Orthodox Muslim communities, the men and women are seated separately, in different rooms, or have a purdah, or curtain, separating them.

The most important part of the ceremony involves the Nikaahnaama, a document on which the marriage contract is registered. It contains a set of terms and conditions that must be respected by both parties, including the right of the bride to divorce her husband. Furthermore, the marriage contract includes a Meher -- a formal statement specifying the monetary amount the groom will give the bride.

There are two parts to the Meher: an amount due before the marriage is consummated, and a deferred amount given to the bride at a time to be determined. Today, many couples use the wedding ring to meet the first requirement. The deferred amount can be a small sum -- a formality -- or an actual gift of money or jewellery. The gift belongs to the bride to do with as she pleases, unless the relationship breaks up before the wedding. The Meher guarantees the bride's freedom within the marriage, and acts as the bride's safety net.

The walis -- the groom's father and the father of the bride -- play an important role in the ceremony, acting as witnesses to the wedding. If the father is not available, an alternate male relative such as a brother, uncle, or grandfather, will perform this duty.

The maulana or maulvi, who is an Islamic holy man, is the leader of the ceremony. He usually begins by reading selected verses from the Quran, and then waits for the Ijab-e-Qubul -- the proposal and acceptance -- to take place. Usually, the groom's side proposes and the bride's side conveys her assent. The mutual consent of the bride and groom is of great importance for the marriage to be legal.

The maulvi and the gavaah, or witnesses, then take the Nikaahnaama to the bride and read it aloud to her, or allow the bride to read it herself. The bride accepts the Nikaahnaama by saying 'qabool kiya,' meaning 'I accept,' and signs the contract. The document is then taken back to the groom and read aloud to him, or given to him to read. He too gives his assent by saying ‘qabool kiya,’ and signs the contract. In order for the marriage contract to be legal, the groom, the bride, the witnesses, and the maulvi must sign the document.

At this point, the Nikkah is complete. The maulvi will often follow the Nikkah with a recitation of the Fatihah, the first chapter of the Quran, as well as various durud, or blessings.

After the announcement of the marriage, dishes of dates and misri -- unrefined sugar -- are passed around by the groom's family. The groom is then escorted to where his wife awaits, and is finally allowed to sit by her side.
This is, of course, another opportunity for pranks and teasing. The bride's friends and family will sit next to the her and not allow the groom to sit next to his wife until he pays what they feel is an acceptable sum of money.



RUKHSATI

The wedding day ends with an emotional and official send-off when the bride departs for the groom's house. As she says goodbye to her parents, close friends and family, the Quran is held over her head as a blessing. This symbolizes the bride's entrance into a new phase in her life.
When the bride arrives at her husband's house, the groom's mother holds the Quran above her new daughter-in-law’s head as she enters her new home for the first time.
At this time, tradition calls for the family to play a series of games. The purpose of these games is to help ease the bride’s transition into her new home. One game calls for a big tray bearing a mixture of water and milk to be placed in front of the couple. A ring is thrown into the mixture. The idea is for the bride and groom to search for the ring, and whoever finds it first is considered the dominant partner in the relationship.
Another game includes the untying of a gana, a thick piece of string, by the bride and groom. The bridesmaids and groomsmen tie this string to the bride and groom’s wrists before the wedding, while they are still at their respective homes. Whoever can untie the gana first, is considered the dominant partner in the relationship.
Yet another tradition includes a sweet, pudding-type desert called kheer, which is placed on the bride's hand. The groom tries to lick it off while all the women in his family hold his new bride's hand and try to pull it away from him. The bride then eats the kheer out of the groom’s hand. This is designed to break the tension between the two, and establish physical contact. The groom then washes the bride’s feet in a basin of water, and the water is sprinkled into the four corners of the house to bring wealth, prosperity and luck into the home. The groom’s sisters then take the bride into her new bedroom to prepare her for her first night as a married woman, while the rest of the groom's siblings and cousins block the entrance to the room. They will not allow the groom into his bedroom until he has offered payment once again! Luckily, this is the last of his hurdles and the groom can finally be alone with his wife.
These traditions and games are family specific, therefore, each family may have different games and traditions that they like to see carried out with a newly married couple.


WALIMA

The Walima, an Islamic requirement, is hosted by the groom's parents and is usually a lavish reception. It is held to announce the marriage to the community and celebrate amongst family, friends, and co-workers. Traditionally, this event aims to prove to the community that the marriage had taken place.